We get some pretty strange DMs to The Standard's inbox. From the crude to the cute, the irate to the just plain confusing, we do our best to respond, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. We thought we'd take a moment to share some of our favorite inquiries from the last few months. Bear in mind, we’re keeping the really real messages under wraps (trust us, it's for your own good).
Not sure if require is the word. The word is need. And the answer is YES.
Look for the gigantic yellow door.
Some people call it TOTS, but this is taking it a little too far.
As a general rule, we keep magic as far away from our restaurant as possible.
The best part is the finger in the top of the frame.
That doesn’t seem like a very good deal, but we’ll check with the business people.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wait...so how beautiful?
We already told you. You’re just not model material.
We appreciate your feedback.
No more smiles for you, boo. It’s over.
Is this one of those trick questions?
Ugh, fine, we'll make out with you.
Ooh yes, honey, let’s do the friendship.
The movie stars.
We closed the pool. Forever.
OK, but when you're a lawyer, we might need to call in a favor.
The Martha Wainwright show was out. of. control.
Told you so.
But. We. Can’t.
We require so much information.
We worked hard for those handsome guys between 27 and 35 who speak French.
You always know just what a girl needs.